We all carry stories about who we are. Some are hopeful and grounding: “I’m a caring friend,” “I’ve survived difficult things,” “I can adapt.” Others, though, weigh us down: “I’m not good enough,” “Nothing ever works out for me,” “I’m broken.”
These stories don’t come from nowhere. They’re shaped by family, culture, past experiences, and even single moments that left a mark. But when these narratives become rigid and negative, they can keep us stuck in cycles of shame, fear, or hopelessness.
That’s where narrative therapy comes in.
What is Narrative Therapy?
Narrative therapy is a way of looking at life through stories. It’s based on the idea that you are not the problem—the problem is the problem. Instead of labeling someone as “anxious” or “lazy,” narrative therapy helps separate the person from the issue: “Anxiety is showing up in my life” or “Exhaustion is making it harder to get things done.”
This shift creates space for self-compassion. It allows you to see yourself as more than your struggles—and opens the door to rewriting the story in a way that feels more empowering.
Why Stories Hold Power
Our brains are wired for storytelling. We make sense of the world by connecting events into a narrative. If your inner story is, “I always fail,” you’ll filter new experiences through that lens—even when success is right in front of you.
But when you begin to notice, challenge, and rewrite these stories, you start reclaiming your identity. You’re no longer the character trapped in a script you didn’t choose—you become the author.
How Narrative Therapy Helps You Reframe Your Story
Here are a few ways narrative therapy guides people toward new perspectives:
- Externalizing the Problem
Instead of saying, “I’m depressed,” you might say, “Depression is visiting me.” This helps reduce shame and creates space to work with the problem instead of feeling consumed by it.
- Identifying the Dominant Story
Maybe your dominant story is, “I’m unworthy.” Through conversation, you and your therapist explore where this belief came from, how it’s reinforced, and how it shows up in your daily life.
- Unearthing Alternative Stories
Even in difficult times, there are moments of resilience. Maybe you handled a challenge well, or showed kindness to someone when you were hurting. These stories often get overlooked, but they reveal strength and hope.
- Re-authoring the Narrative
Together, you begin weaving a new story that includes both the pain and the resilience: “Even when I struggle, I keep showing up. I’m capable of growth.”
Practical Ways to Try This for Yourself
You don’t need to be in therapy to begin experimenting with narrative shifts. Here are a few gentle practices:
- Name the problem, not yourself.
Write: “Anxiety is pressuring me today,” instead of “I’m failing again.” - Notice exceptions.
Think of times when the problem didn’t have full control—what helped in those moments? - Journal your alternative story.
Ask: “What would I like my story to sound like in one year?” and write it out as if you’re already living it. - Talk to yourself with curiosity, not judgment. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try, “What does this feeling want me to notice?”
The Takeaway
Your past and your pain are part of your story, but they don’t have to define the ending. Narrative therapy reminds us that while we can’t change what has happened, we can change how we understand it—and how it shapes our future.
You’re not broken. You’re a storyteller, and you have the power to choose a kinder, truer narrative.
Need support?
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